


you and i were meant to be (in love)

by johnny-and-dora (sian_jpg)



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, more to be added as it gets updated!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-28 06:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16717841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sian_jpg/pseuds/johnny-and-dora
Summary: jake and amy vs. the universe.(or, a collection of short peraltiago one-shots)





	1. you need to wake up because i can't do this without you

**Author's Note:**

> 20\. "you have to wake up because i can't do this without you"  
> i don't normally write too much angst so it was fun to tug at the heartstrings a bit for this one!  
> canon divergence for show me going (5x20)

“Where do you think you’re going?”

He knows that voice. Jake knows that voice, so well, knows the pure electricity it sends shivering down his spine with its sensual whisper in his ear – knows the way it’s softer, still thick with sleep on early mornings, knows the way it shouts answers at the TV screen during Jeopardy. He knows, he _loves_ its lilt when he makes her laugh, loves the way it exclaims excitedly when she solves a case, loves the way it commands with quiet yet fierce determination.

 He’s heard that voice almost every day without fail for the last eight years, and it’s probably his favourite sound in the entire world.  

Hearing it now, however, is unnervingly jarring – arguably, it’s just about the last voice he wants to hear. It’s enough to make him freeze in his tracks, seconds away from throwing open the door to his car. He exhales deeply before he turns around, nervous energy pulsating throughout his whole body.

Amy, in all her five-foot-five glory, pristinely ironed sergeant’s uniform discarded for a damp, faded old grey NYPD t-shirt, is standing behind him - arms crossed, eyes dark with a fury that runs like ice in his veins.

He clenches his jaw – just the sight of her is enough to open the floodgates on the wildfire that’s currently burning inside his ribcage, the fire that spurring every instinct he has to go, to run headfirst into the action without a second thought, because one of his closest friends is in danger and it’s the only way he knows how to help her.

“ I was...” He begins, unsure of how the sentence is going to end, mainly because there’s still a loud ringing in his ears and blood boiling in his veins and fear, fear that’s almost all consuming, fear that’s only amplified by the cold way the person he plans on spending the rest of his life with is looking at him.

 “I was going to help Rosa.” He winces at how small he sounds, already dreading how this conversation is going to go – mostly because he already knows she’s going to be right.

“Help Rosa how? By being an action hero? By running into the danger without even thinking about-“

“-I am thinking, I just can’t sit here doing nothing while she could be-“

“-You didn’t even say goodbye!” She practically yells, loud enough and heartbreaking enough to stun him into silence, red hot shame creeping up the back of his neck. She takes a few steps closer, never blinking, never faltering, and never before has he felt this powerless to challenge her.

“I just can’t believe that you wouldn’t think about how irresponsible and reckless you’re being.”  
“Amy-“

“-No. You need to wake up. Because...I can’t do this without you.” Her voice cracks and it’s enough to rupture him in half, impossibly heavy guilt splintering through his soul. His eyes sting with the tears he’s been trying so hard to hold back and he’s weak at the knees and he finally, _finally_ pulls her close, unable to bear it any longer.

There’s this terrible, awful split-second of hesitation before she hugs back – but when she does, it’s grounding, enough to calm the storm if only for a moment.

“I know. I’m so sorry, Ames. I’m sorry.” He says, arms wrapped around her so tightly as if he’s afraid she might float away from him. It feels like there’s a stone in his throat – but when she looks up at him, the fire in her eyes has vanished, and the overwhelming guilt and fear and anger and everything between that’s been eating him alive slowly distils to a deadening ache.

There’s only love, love, love there now, just as fierce as before, but enough to put him back together again.  Everything, every terrible truth or _what-if_ they can’t quite bring themselves to vocalise still casts shadows over them like dark thunderclouds.

“I just feel so helpless.” It’s barely a whisper, a weak excuse – thanks to her, vulnerability is no longer his worst fear, but it’s all he can muster right now, powerless to put into words just how much he detests feeling so weak.

Jake spent six months helpless, feeling like he was stuck wading in a swamp that would sink him any minute in Florida – he spent eight weeks helpless, so terrifyingly small and alone in that prison cell, two months helpless in the safe house wondering if they were ever going to put Murphy away. He never wants to feel like that again.

“We all do. But she’s Rosa. She’s a badass, and she’ll be fine, and she’d kill you if she knew what you were doing. I still want to kill you now for even thinking about it.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, I-“

“I know you are. I just...I love you, so much. I can’t wait to marry you. And if something happened to you, or Rosa, or both of you...” Her voice cracks again, more tears threatening to spill, and he kisses her forehead, no idea how to vocalise how genuinely sorry he is or how scared he feels or just how much he loves her.

“Yeah. I...I know. I love you too. So much.”

She gives him the tiniest, most fragile smile, and it’s not much but it’s enough to allow him to breathe normally again. They walk, hands intertwined tightly, back into the precinct – and Jake knows that he has to do everything he can to make sure that voice is in his life for as long as possible.

(“You’re my voice of reason.” He’ll say, later, after they come undone with the relief of knowing that Rosa’s safely at home, and she’ll laugh for the first time that day.  
“Damn right I am.”)


	2. you fainted straight into my arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 38\. “you fainted...straight into my arms. you know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
> 
> let's say this takes place somewhere between "the bet" (1x13) x "the party" (1x16)

To be fair, he probably should have been paying attention to Amy when she said she was feeling a little woozy – but Jake had been slightly more focused on the fountain of blood spurting from the victim’s arm at the time. All his effort and brainpower and energy was going into calling for back up, making sure the perp was secure and not immediately throwing up his gummy-bear breakfast burrito.

It wasn’t his fault that he’d barely blinked before she was crumpling to the ground.

It was terrifyingly fast - he’d only just moved in time to stop her slamming into the cold concrete, trying to keep her steady, keep her from completely freaking out while she woke. He’d made sure she was okay, glancing over every other second to where she was sitting while he tried his best to help the victim; and when the ambulance arrived, he’d insisted (despite her weak yet annoyed protests) that they check her over as well.

He’s been reluctant to let her out of his sight ever since, for a whole host of reasons he can’t even begin to explain – mainly, because he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her lately and he really cares about her and one day he’d like to be brave enough to tell her that to her face.

Jake would really appreciate it if she would be patient enough to not risk getting horribly injured before he works up the courage to tell her...whatever he needs to tell her.

He’d really appreciate it if she didn’t get horribly injured in the first place – and even though she’s fine, fine enough to firmly insist that the medics turn all their attention to the guy with the semi-serious stab wound, this stupid feeling of anxiety surrounding her and whether she’s okay just won’t go away.

Jake looks over at where she’s standing and feels his throat tighten - she’s horribly, horribly pale, eyes a littler blanker, much more tired than usual. The second he sees her shiver he’s handing over the perp to the first responsible-looking beat cops he can find and making his way towards her.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She says, but it feels like she’s smaller, or maybe further away - like she’s at the other end of a tunnel that he can’t get to. Worry festers in the pit of the stomach before he can do anything about it. His hands jitter with nervous energy, as usual – but now, hers are shaking too.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine. Just cold.” She says, still looking down at her hands, the ground, anywhere but him.

“You’re always cold.” He says, a hint – okay, it’s more of a _tidal wave_ \- of endearment sparking in his chest. Before Amy can say anything else, he’s already in the middle of taking his hoodie off and handing it to her, shrugging as a way of response when she raises an eyebrow at him.

“You need it more than I do.”  
“But-“  
“Just put the damn hoodie on, Santiago.” He says, half exasperated and half amused, and she takes it with no further objection – something that tells him she must be tired.

 “I feel pathetic.” She says after a minute, now fiddling with the strings of his hoodie like they’re a lifeline, finally properly, looking at him for the first time.

“What, for passing out?”

“...Yeah. I’m so embarrassed. I feel like a teenage girl who couldn’t handle biology class.”

“Okay, first of all, I know plenty of teenage boys who fainted in biology class as well. Biology is gross and upsetting and I refuse to dissect anything ever again – but secondly, it’s not embarrassing. It was super gross, I nearly threw up. It’s a perfectly normal reaction.”

Amy gives him a questioning look that tells him he’s definitely going to be spilling out that traumatic repressed teenage memory sooner or later – but she already looks ten times better, so he doesn’t regret it at all.

“Still, I’m a detective. With extensive first-aid training. Now everyone’s going to make fun of me for not being able to handle a little blood.”

“Okay, I wouldn’t call it a little blood. The guy looked worse than Carrie on prom night.” It’s not one of his finest jokes, he’ll admit, and it’s probably in poor taste – but she smiles, just a little, and his whole body floods with warmth.

Wow, he really is _so_ far gone.

“Have you eaten anything today?” He asks, partly to change the subject and partly out of concern, and a light blush floods her cheeks. Just enough to get her to stop looking so pale and to get him to breathe a sigh of relief.

“No...”

“Well there you go then. Of course you fainted. You just ran ten blocks to take down a perp twice the size of you and barely got your breath back before this guy so rudely starts heavily bleeding in front of you, all on an empty stomach. All things considered...I don’t think you should be embarrassed. I think you’re a badass.”

“Thanks, Peralta.” She smiles with this kind of sweetness and vulnerability he very rarely gets to see, and his heart swells, and he could tell her now, he really could. He could tell her how worried he was about her and how much he thinks she’s amazing and how he kind of wishes something could happen between them.

But he can’t. So instead, he just smiles back.

“Anytime.”

And then, because he can’t resist:

“You know... if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“Jake...”

“I’m just saying, you fainted straight into my arms. My big, strong, muscular man arms...”

“Okay, tough guy. What was that about you fainting in biology class?” She says, eyes bright, and he laughs and shakes his head and blissfully, everything seems to be normal again.

The worry slowly fades away - but his overwhelming, ridiculously overpowering crush on Amy Santiago somehow remains, and he hopes it won’t be long before he’s brave enough to do something about it.

(Mysteriously, his second-favourite blue hoodie seems to permanently vanish from his collection – that is until roughly a year and a half later, when she blushes deeply as he finds it neatly hanging in the corner of her wardrobe.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! these have been so fun to write so far!  
> i've got at least one more lined up but i would LOVE to do more so send me some prompts over @johnny-and-dora <333


	3. it's not what it looks like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30\. "it's not what it looks like."  
> little companion piece to my fic "holding back the flood" :)

In retrospect, Jake probably shouldn’t have been looking at baby names on his work computer.

He can’t help it – he’s bored, mind-numbingly so. He’s hit a dead end in his current B&E, he’s finished all – okay, most – _(okay, some)_ \- of his paperwork – and no-one seems to be around to indulge in the usual 99th precinct crazy shenanigans to kill time while he waits for a report from Forensics.

(Turns out he gets bored a lot more easily now that he has to go down an entire floor to distract his beautiful wife, instead of just being able to distract her from the other side of their shared desk.)

It’s also worth noting that he’s been a lot more on edge for these past few weeks that they’ve _known_ , carrying around this awesome, crazy and currently raspberry sized secret in his stomach (metaphorically, of course - although if he could take all the morning sickness and the exhaustion and the emotional rollercoasters from aforementioned beautiful wife, he would do it in a heartbeat).

He spends most of his time restraining himself from excitedly gushing to the squad that his incredible wife is currently growing a human being inside her – it’s equal parts exciting, terrifying and a little bit gross, and it’s killing him slightly that he can’t share this excitement and terror and grossness with the people he cares about the most, at least not for two more weeks. It’s practically all he can think about.

(They’re having a baby – okay, Amy’s having a baby, but he did at least make some contribution – and he genuinely doesn’t think he’s ever been more excited for anything in his life.)

So naturally when he gets bored these days, Jake is less preoccupied with Die Hard and pizza bagels and sneakers and slightly more focused on the giant, huge, gargantuan change to their lives that’s scheduled to arrive in seven impossibly short months.

Hence, he just has to have a casual brief peruse of potential baby names. For fun, and maybe because he at least wants to be able to contribute to the binder (of course there’s already a binder) in some way.

He glances around cautiously first, of course - Jake’s already well practiced in preventing Code Orange situations (yes, he came up with a code-based system for various pregnancy situations in the middle of the night, and yes, it achieved the intended affect of making his wife both very proud of him and super horny) and he’s sure there won’t be one today. Five minutes browsing names won’t hurt.

Of course, he’s merely two minutes in to browsing his favourites when Rosa very rudely sneaks up behind him.

“Hey man, have you seen my –?” She asks suddenly, making him jump and scramble to close his tab in a totally non-dramatic way that doesn’t make him look suspicious at all.

“Ah! What? Nothing!” He hastily swivels around in his chair, doing his best to look like a normal human being with nothing to hide while Rosa stares at him, unreadable expression on her face.

“Heyyyyyy, Rosa! You’re looking...terrifying, as usual. Have you done something with your...face?”

“...Were you just looking at baby names?” She says, masterfully tuning out his desperate ramblings (to be fair, she’s had a lot of practise)

“No. Yes? It’s...not what it looks like.” He offers as a lame excuse, but she’s clearly not buying it. He takes a deep breath, trying to balance his desire to tell one of his closest friends about this life changing amazing incredible thing and his desire to not be murdered by his wife.

“Fine. Amy and I are...” Jake trails off, desperately trying to think of a plausible excuse - Rosa folds her arms, enjoying watching him dig his own grave. As usual.

_Don’t panic, Peralta. Just don’t say anything stupid._

“...adopting a monitor lizard.”

_Nailed it._

To be fair, monitor lizards are pretty dope - he’s been trying to convince Amy to let him have one for months now, but not even his best puppy dog eyes or methods of seduction have worked yet, and it doesn’t look like it’s happening any time soon – somehow he doesn’t think pregnant Amy + reptile is a good combination, let alone newborn baby + reptile. It will remain a work in progress, but one day he’s determined to have his very own mini dragon.

 As excuses go, he doesn’t think its half bad.

Rosa apparently disagrees, arching her eyebrows. A bolt of adrenaline inducing fear rockets through him.

“Really. Amy just...readily agreed to this.”

 “I can be very persuasive.” He says, maintaining eye contact and swallowing nervously, bracing himself for his best friend’s scary interrogation laser eyes.

“And you need help...naming it.”

“Well, I want it to have a strong, good lizard name.”

 There’s this tiny, explosive, action movie moment of tension when she looks at him with a terrifyingly unreadable expression, and he’s sure that he’ll unravel right in front of her and tell her what’s going on,  Amy’s going to kill him and-

But then she just rolls her eyes and everything is somewhat normal again and thankfully, Jake remembers the correct way to breathe.

“Whatever, man. Can I have my file now?” She says and he hands it to her with slightly too much enthusiasm, doing a weird and awkward salute before bolting from his desk as quickly as possible, vowing to try his best to avoid any contact with her for the rest of the day - ideally for the next two weeks until they can finally, properly announce it to the world.

He thinks of the sonogram which he attached lovingly to their fridge after they got back from the first scan last night, thinks of the tiny pairs of impossibly cute sneakers he’s already spent far too much money on, and smiles.

As much as he wants a monitor lizard – and he _so badly_ wants a monitor lizard – he has to admit what’s really coming is going to be more exciting and terrifying and more slightly gross than he can possible imagine, and it makes his heart swell.

He can’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **To: Amy Santiago, 11:08**   
>  _if anyone mentions us adopting a lizard just go with it_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **From: Amy Santiago, 11:10**  
>  _What? What have you done now?_
> 
>  
> 
> **To: Amy Santiago 11:11**  
>  _don’t worry bout it gotta go the crime phone is ringing bye love youuuuu_
> 
>  
> 
> \---  
> thanks for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! feel free to come and request prompts anytime over on my tumblr, @johnny-and-dora) <3


End file.
